Three hours before Bin-Laden broadcasts a message to Iraqis on Al Jazeera, Bush's War-Marketing Department (WMD) has the translated transcript ready for the press to prove the connection between Sodomist Hussein and Osama Bend Over.
Last time this happened the WMD begged the liberal my ass press to not broadcast the tape because Bend Over might be sending subliminal secret messages to his terrorist comrades to launch a new attack on Americans.
This tape comes right out and says: "Suicide bomb every American you can. Starting today!"
(Okay, okay, he actually told them to bomb every invading American soldier, but every freedom-loving American sitting at home safe on his or her couch and watching the war between commercials on TV knows that an attack on our soldiers is an attack on us.)
Responsible journalists at Al Jazeera broadcast the tape once, and followed with a few minutes of commentary. Then they moved on.
What did the WMD do? They made sure every journalist in Bushland (formerly known as America) splashed it across headlines and TV screens.
I guess Bush and his war marketers wanted to make sure all the terrorist cells and Iraqi sympathizers inside the US, the ones who don't get Al Jazeera on their cable packages, got the message too.
The reason is simple: Bush and his shameless promoters and panderers of middle eastern genocide can't wait for another terrorist attack. Then all his puppy-dog, yes-master supporters, the clueless undecideds who think we have to trust the President on this one, yellow-backed Democrats in Congress (did I say, "Joe Leiberman?") and the liberal-my ass press will wag their tails, roll over and say: "Please, please invade Iraq now."
Bush's war marketing department claims the new Bend Over tape absolutely proves the connection between Bend Over and Iraq that Uncle Tom Powell has been warning the UN about since, well forever.
What's the connection?
Bend Over tells Iraqi to blow up Americans who invade Iraq with suicide bombs.
Wow.
Never mind that he calls Sodomist Hussein "an infidel" (which, like Bend Over, he is).
So here's the point: We don't want to invade Iraq because Bend Over and Hussein are in league, but because Bend Over is in league with Iraqis.
In essence, Bush and the WMD want us to invade Iraq and have our soldiers killed by Iraqi suicide bombers to prevent the suicide bombers from killing invading American soldiers.
If you can follow that logic, then I recommend that you volunteer for the army now so you can make it to Iraq in time for the fireworks.
Never Rush to judgment. Think for yourself.
--Joe Krank