Thursday, 2/27/02: President Shrub, running out of excuses for invading Iraq, said last night that toppling Saddam Hussein would make Iraq a shining example of democracy that will spread through the Middle East (or "all those other countries" as he referred to the region). You can expect the War Marketing Department to be gearing up with "Free Votes not Human Shields" and "Bomb Saddam for Freedom" bumper stickers.
Bush made his prediction to members of the American Enterprise Institute, the arch conservative propaganda tank that produced such credible information as Sam Peltzman's study claiming that airbags and seatbelts kill more people than they save.
Bush's forecast came only a week after the WMD's hasty decision to downplay Bush's -plans to install a military governor in post-holocaust Iraq, a decision that met with universal outrage from Iraqi dissident groups and the rest of the freedom loving world (the real freedom loving world, not the faux freedom lovers in America who equate freedom with whatever crumbs corporate America wants to feed us).
So what will Iraq's new democratic government look like? As of today it will be a civilian governor run by the Pentagon. He won't be a real military governor, mind you, because he's a retired general. But the Iraq's democratically elected Pentagon Civilian Governor, three-star general Jay Garner, has already promised to keep the bureaucrats who survive after Iraqi officials kill each other in a war-inspired purge. The Iraqis who keep their jobs by killing their fellow bureaucrats (this info came directly from the Garner and the Pentagon) will be entrusted with the democratic freedoms of the Iraqi people.
The Pentagon also announced that they intend to keep as many as a hundred thousand American troops in Iraq after the war ends. Why will we need them? According to the Pentagon they will be needed to restore peace. Peace to where? Peace to Iran after the hundred thousand troops stationed in Iraq are unleashed on the Iranians to stop their nuclear weapons program.
So what's the example of democracy we're setting for other Middle Eastern countries? To launch a violent onslaught to establish a government imposed by foreign powers. After all, that's how Israel was founded, and if it's good enough for Israel and Iraq, it will be good enough for Iran, the West Bank, Jordan, Lebanon and any other nation that pisses us off and doesn't deliver the cheap oil Exxon needs to increase profits when they jack up prices.
Never Rush to judgment. Think for yourself.
--Joe Krank