President Bush expanded the war on terrorism to include God.
At an early morning prayer breakfast open to every Christian male whose corporation donated more than $100,000 to his campaign, Bush announced that it's time to pay God back for the pain and suffering he caused humanity.
"If you want to talk weapons of mass destructionablism," Bush said, "God's arsenal is bigger than any. He drowned an entire Egyptian Army in the Red Sea and we sure don't want that to happen to our troops in the Middle East." He added that the plague, smallpox and flu have killed more people over the course of human history than any terrorist bomb.
Asked to explain his reversal on the "God" issue, Bush said, "I'm all for the good Christian God of Billy Graham and Pat Robertson." It's that pesky Jewish God, you know the one Moslems call Allah, that we have to worry about.
Bush added that God showed his real intentions when he gave the popular vote to Gore and the Jewish Lieberman. "Hell, if God had just cooperated with a few more votes, I wouldn't have had to sell my soul to my brother Jeb and five Supreme Court Justifices to make sure I got electablized."
Never Rush to judgment. Think for yourself.
--Joe Krank