8/01/03: This e-mail, purportedly from Joe Krank, accompanied a message that he had escaped Guantanamo only to be recaptured en-route to meet with Texas Senators in New Mexico. Upon his return from Cuba, he heard the following account which, apparently, spread like chemical gas from cell to cell.
Here’s one for all you conspiracy theorists cruising the net for the latest evidence of a cover-up at Roswell, or the missing part of Kennedy's brain. The Bush-Lite administration, fucked up big time and gave Sodomite Hussein and his two sons, Hooty and Kiss Ass, as much money as some state lotteries.
The Iraqis were right. Those weren't the bodies of the Hussein boys in those photos. They were two poor saps the Hussein's lured into the building before the land lord called in the troops. You heard it first here (unless you're in Iraq, Cuba or the Middle East). Sodomite Hussein’s plan was to turn the body doubles over, take some of the heat off his boys, and collect the thirty million dollar reward.
When the US didn’t pony up the money immediately, Radio Saddam released another tape mourning their loss. US Officials said the tape proved the boys were dead and gave the money to the guy who turned them in, who is a royal Hussein ally. Now Hussein has thirty million dollars to finance his troops, or, more likely, buy another yacht with a torture chamber inside.
Want proof? How’s this? What idiot would collect a bounty for thirty million on the Hussein boys and let people know who he is? If those were really Hussein’s sons, the guy's a dead man. Even if he gets the chance to spend the money, he won’t have time to enjoy what he buys.
Why should you believe me? Remember, I didn’t say it’s true, I said somebody else said it was true. And you can too. After all, if that standard's good enough for a State of the Union Address, it should be good enough for us.
Never Rush to judgment. Think for yourself.
--Joe Krank